Saturday, January 17, 2009

Little angels, "Big Grandpa"

It's very late (actually it's early tomorrow) and I should be in bed, but I'm not able to settle my thoughts in order to allow sleep to come...so I'll just try to put down some words.

I had wanted to talk about our little angels since we recently learned that our littlest unborn grandchild needed to go meet Jesus and play with his/her cousins. I just didn't know how to put my thoughts into words (and still don't) and so I put it off. What I do know is it's heartbreaking to watch your children go through such pain...and you pray more than ever for God to bring comfort. My niece commented, "Heaven seems a little closer when a child goes home early". How true.

What I didn't know then was that today would be the day that my Dad would finally be able to meet those little angels. Although we all knew it could be soon, I wasn't quite prepared for this day. I had hoped we'd have time to gather around him as his children, to tell him one last time how much we loved him. I am thankful that I was here and could be with him as he was drawing his last breaths, but it was so painful knowing I couldn't do any more for him. As I desperately tried to help him and get a response from him, I also knew that this was the day he was waiting for. He so longed to be out of the body that was causing him so much pain. He prayed for Jesus to take him home. Now he's there, and it's somehow a comfort knowing our little ones were there to welcome him, unafraid. I say that because our oldest grandchild was sometimes a little afraid of "Big Grandpa". He looked a little 'worn' and wasn't able to get up and play as his other grandpa could...but he would have given anything to be able to, and he so loved the little ones!

I'll just leave you with one of the very few more recent pictures I have of my dad. You can't see them here because they're full of pain, but he had the most striking baby blue eyes!!

Love you and miss you so much already, Dad!! Thanks for taking care of our little angels.

7 comments:

Sheila said...

So sorry for your loss. We heard about it last night when we went to Dad's house.
I didn't realize your Dad was very ill.
God bless you and your family and you are in our prayers.
If you need anything just let us know.

ONTARIO THIESSENS said...

Sara...just want you to know that you & your family are in our thoughts & prayers through this difficult time. We're very sorry for your loss but especially sorry for the pain your dad had to suffer & endure in his life...I guess at the same time we also rejoice with you knowing he is now free from that pain and in the best place he could ever be.

...also, I'm sorry for the loss of your grandbabies you never got to meet -- that's difficult and very sad too. I am praying for Stacey & Keith as they grieve, especially Stacey as she heals (both emotionally and physically)in these days.

Love,
Brenda

Rhonda said...

Praying for your and your family.

Julie said...

Ohh .. Sara .. my eyes are full of tears. I am thankful that for your Dad.. homegoing was a joy.. but you grieve your loss...
I'm sooo sorry... you have suffered ... and the loss of grandchildren is a pain that I can but imagine!
My prayers are with you, that God will hold your aching heart in His hands and give you His gentle comfort !
I love the thought of grandfather and grandchildren rejoicing with each other... I can almost hear the echo of their laughter!

Lovella said...

Sara, I feel so bad for you .. .I can understand the pain. . it is the hardest thing to watch our children experience such devastating loss, and then to watch parents pass away. . is also so heart wrenching even if they are ready to meet Jesus. I pray for comfort for you and for your children. . .I have so often thought of my own parents. . with little wee ones on their laps. . .

Diana said...

Our prayers are with you at this time.
Why do things come in multiples? In your case the loss of grand baby and father.
Tough times.
God is good and will see you through.

anita said...

and again...more tears. you wrote this beautifully.